S6 E11 At the Foot of the Cross: Permissive Suffering, Trauma, and Grief with Jenny duBay
**Trigger Warning: This episode may be sensitive to some listeners and viewers, as it discusses the topic of domestic abuse. Listener and viewer discretion is advised.
***Disclaimer: If you are a victim of domestic violence or domestic abuse seeking information or assistance or know someone who is, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can also text the word “START” to 88788.
Show Notes
In previous episodes, we’ve explored a variety of stories that have shared the different ways we can grieve and the different types of losses we may experience. However, some experiences with grief and loss can prove far more complex, especially when someone is dealing with grief and loss while still in the presence of the person or even in a relationship. How can one both move through the unique type of grief associated with domestic abuse? Is it possible to heal from it and become whole?
In this episode, Jennifer has a conversation about a topic that may be difficult to hear or watch. Tune in to this candid interview with our guest, Jenny duBay, as she courageously shares about a topic near and dear to her heart to help others know they are not alone.
Our Guest
Jenny duBay writes historical fiction inspired by the lives of medieval mystics - women who walked through chaos, suffering, and spiritual fire, and emerged with a grace that still speaks across centuries. Their courage became a lifeline in her own healing journey. Now she tells their stories, weaving history with themes of resilience, beauty, and the search for truth, so they can inspire others the way they inspired me.
In addition to her fiction, she also writes non-fiction for women navigating betrayal, trauma, or spiritual wounds—not with formulas or platitudes, but with honesty, clarity, and the reminder that they are not alone.
Connect with Our Guest
Saint Quotes
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” - Julian of Norwich
"I am she who is not; God is the One Who is.” - St. Catherine of Siena
Scripture
“Ask and ye shall receive.” Luke 11:9
“[I] can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens [me].” Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)
"Blessed are You, O God, with every pure blessing ... Blessed are You because You have made me glad. It has not turned out as I expected, but You have dealt with us according to Your great mercy" (Tobit 8:15-16).
Links
“When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women
World Between Worlds: A Novel Based on the Early Life of Caterina, the Mystic of Siena
Prayer for the repose of the soul of Kendall Jones, Jenny’s brother-in-law; all the ladies of the Hope’s Garden Community and all victims of domestic abuse
Journaling Questions
What part of Jenny’s story touched you most? Were there parts that you related to more than others?
Jenny quoted two very powerful and influential saints, Saint Julian of Norwich and St. Catherine of Siena. Which of the two resonated most with you? Spend some time reflecting on both.
Jennifer and Jenny touched on the topic of “cognitive dissonance” or “cognitive distortion. Are there instances in your life, whether related to abuse or not, when you have experienced this? What were the circumstances? Has there been any resolution?
Jenny spoke of the many different types of abuse and the fact that with domestic abuse, it is a pattern of behavior. How does this change the way you view domestic abuse?
Of the scripture verses mentioned and discussed in this episode, which one struck you most and why?
What changed, if anything, about your view of domestic violence after listening to this episode?
What is your mourning glory?
